


He Needs You

by decaf_kitty



Category: Naruto
Genre: Bottom Hatake Kakashi, Hokage Hatake Kakashi, M/M, Top Umino Iruka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 04:43:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16825369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/decaf_kitty/pseuds/decaf_kitty
Summary: Hatake Kakashi, Konoha's retired Hokage, finds his former assistant, Umino Iruka, wounded and in need of comfort.Or does Kakashi need something from Iruka?





	He Needs You

**Author's Note:**

> A fleeting idea over the holiday break demanded to be written.
> 
> Flipping the trope of "returning wounded Kakashi" - why not "returning wounded Iruka"?
> 
> Also wanted to try my hand at older Kakashi/Iruka set after Kakashi's era as Hokage/Rokudaime.
> 
> These two are just lovely. I hope you enjoy them.

Kakashi was deep in dreamless sleep when he heard a solid thud strike the top of the Hatake compound. He was awake one instant and on the roof the next. He felt the familiar but fleeting spike of discomfort as he confronted the unknown without his Sharingan, but he moved past it, like always. He surveyed the vast expanse of his roof – and easily found what made the sound.

It was a man lying in a crumpled heap.

Kakashi approached cautiously, kunai in hand. He could see the Konoha markings on the man’s uniform, recognized the green flak jacket and the blue shinobi shirt and pants. Kakashi couldn’t see the man’s face, so he circled him, paying close attention to the slight movement of the figure’s chest as it rose and fell. He had no idea why a Konoha nin might be on his roof in the middle of the night, but he first needed to make certain it wasn’t a trap before helping him. 

After relinquishing his position as Hokage several months ago to Naruto, he had been trying to enjoy a lazy retirement before going on missions again. It had been made clear to him that he didn’t really need to do anything more for Konoha, but he knew he would go back soon enough. His seclusion hadn’t guaranteed his safety: he had a few unpleasant encounters with enemy nin wanting to drop in on the old Hokage. Of course, they were all easily dealt with, but it still made Kakashi warier than he had wanted to be after stepping down and resuming his jounin status.

After coming around to view the nin’s face, Kakashi felt stupidly stunned as he finally recognized the unconscious man on his roof.

_Iruka...!_

Iruka had spent the last few years assisting him while Kakashi was Hokage, and, although he was offered leave, he continued teaching at the Academy the whole time. As a consequence, Iruka rarely left the village due to the high workload of serving as Kakashi’s assistant and teaching endless cohorts of pre-genin children. 

Kakashi was beginning to realize, as he stared down at what undeniably appeared to be an unconscious Iruka, that he hadn’t kept up with the other man since he’d withdrawn from the world.

He rapidly went through a few perception-based jutsus, trying to sense out if it was truly Iruka or just someone using a disguise to get closer to Kakashi. He felt a little lurch of pain realizing he couldn’t use the Sharingan to tell Iruka’s chakra status – but he could still use a few old specialty jutsus to tell if this was just a deception – and ultimately Kakashi came to the unsettling realization –

This _was_ Iruka, and he was crumpled in a messy pile on Kakashi’s roof, seemingly comatose.

A cold dead chill coursed through Kakashi. He could tell that Iruka was badly injured, even if he wasn’t excessively bleeding. His old friend had yet to stir in any remarkable way. Kakashi had only just started to crouch down to check Iruka’s pulse when four white-masked ANBU soundlessly materialized around the two of them.

He knew each of them immediately, of course. Hawk, the lead ANBU, nodded sharply at Kakashi while Cat swept over Iruka, assessing the unconscious man even as healing chakra rolled off her fingers to revive him. Kakashi knew from personal experience that Cat was a skilled medic-nin; he trusted her to tend to Iruka. The other two ANBU looked around the Hatake compound, silently appraising the situation, their attention not once lingering on their former leader. 

Hawk spoke calmly, his dark eyes on Kakashi through his porcelain mask: “We’re going to take him to the hospital, Rokudaime.”

“I’ll go with you,” Kakashi replied evenly. He left no room for debate. Neither Hawk nor any of the other ANBU seemed surprised or displeased by his declaration, but he honestly wouldn’t have cared if they felt bothered. Without any other conversation, Cat carefully gathered Iruka in her arms, and they collectively left the Hatake compound, moving across Konoha with incredible speed and ease.

Dropping into the main Konoha hospital, the three other ANBU stepped aside to let Cat place Iruka on a waiting white-sheeted bed. Kakashi slid off to the side, further from them, taking a resolute but leisurely spot in the corner of the hospital room. He felt relatively little discomfort dressed in his plain sleep pants and shirt. He’d put on a small square-shaped blue mask out of instinct as he had flitted up to his rooftop, unwilling to let enemy nin see his face even now. He had pocketed the kunai.

After several minutes of still silence between the unspeaking ANBU and the languid-looking Kakashi studying his unconscious friend and former assistant, Sakura appeared with a powerful flourish. The door slammed open, nearly startling one of the ANBU, the man who Kakashi knew was the youngest and least experienced. Kakashi didn’t blink; instead, he watched his former student with real interest, naturally hiding it from his expression. 

Sakura and Cat worked together pulling off Iruka’s standard shinobi gear. Most of it was in good condition, but he did have some dirt and debris on him, as well as one awful tight spray of red blood across the bottom of his jacket. It was obviously not his blood. Kakashi kept his gaze fixed on the three of them even as the two women redressed Iruka in more accessible hospital clothing. 

He had seen Iruka naked on a few occasions during visits to hot springs. He looked much the same as he had over a year ago – just now with new purple-black bruises on his shoulders, chest, and abdomen. Kakashi felt the slightest and most distant comfort that there were no visible wounds on his friend, but the relief was suffocated by the understanding that something terrible must have happened to Iruka for him to become so weakened.

Sakura spoke quietly to Cat, who nodded several times in agreement before gesturing minutely the other ANBU. All at once, three of the elite shinobi disappeared altogether. For one brief moment, Hawk hung back, his attention on Kakashi; the two exchanged the vaguest nods before the ANBU joined the rest of his team elsewhere.

Kakashi restrained himself from moving closer and instead asked, “What happened to him?”

Sakura busied herself petting Iruka’s loose unruly hair into place, but she still chose to respond to her jounin sensei, even as she fussed over her old Academy teacher. “He’s chakra-depleted, and he’s been poisoned. He’ll be fine, but he’s going to be weak for a while.”

Trying to ignore how startled he was at the idea of Iruka being injured, Kakashi started to ask for more information as Naruto flung himself fully into the hospital room. Naruto was half-garbed in his white-and-red Hokage clothing – including Kakashi’s old hat – and he rushed by Sakura, not registering Kakashi at all. 

Kakashi watched as Naruto almost grabbed Iruka but stopped himself so violently that Kakashi could see the young man’s shoulders shaking from across the room. He turned quickly to Sakura and suddenly noticed Kakashi lurking in the shadowed corner. His gaze sharpened for a second on his predecessor before he turned back to Sakura and demanded, “What did they do to him?”

“Iruka-sensei breathed in a poison jutsu. He expended most of his chakra resisting the poison and the rest of it safely returning to the village,” Sakura explained, her voice controlled and deliberately calm.

Naruto’s hands tapped restlessly on the side of the hospital bed as he focused on the still form of his dear Iruka. Just as Sakura began to grab his wrist to stop the ceaseless and aggravating sound, all three of them watched as Iruka’s eyes unexpectedly fluttered open.

Kakashi was totally unprepared for the scorching spike of jealousy that struck him as Iruka dragged his hand off the bed to reach for Naruto. 

Naruto clutched at his teacher’s hand with the sort of passion so very typical of him but so atypical for almost any other nin. He leaned far forward into Iruka’s personal space, and Kakashi worked his tongue in his mouth, surprisingly irritated by their closeness. 

Iruka may have shown up on his roof, but he had garnered absolutely no response from the man.

In contrast, Iruka was staring piteously at Naruto, who looked as if he himself might burst into tears. After a slow and truly terrible moment, Iruka’s expression went soft, his eyes gently closed, and his hand went limp in Naruto’s tight grip. 

Naruto stared at his unconscious teacher with blazing intensity before turning to Sakura, proclaiming quickly, “Please do whatever you can to make him better, Sakura,” and heading to the door, a storm surrounding him. He stopped suddenly in the doorframe. 

Kakashi studied his former student and successor, deadly intrigued by the abrupt pause, before Naruto spun around and headed straight back to him.

“Kakashi-sensei, watch over Iruka for me,” Naruto all but ordered while giving Kakashi the sort of penetrating and wholehearted stare that won him the world. Up close, Kakashi could better tell that Naruto’s too-blue eyes were more than a bit watery, even as dark fury lit his expression. 

He had little option to do anything besides nod. “Of course, Naruto,” Kakashi replied, making certain his tone was sure and comforting in the few words he spoke.

Then Naruto was gone, out of the room and out of the hospital, and, after Sakura told Kakashi several sure things to look out for, she left the room, too, and then Kakashi found himself staring down at Iruka on the hospital bed, suddenly alone with the man once again.

Before she left, Sakura had shifted Iruka back into a relatively normal resting position on his back, keeping his arms at his sides and leaving his scarred face fully open to view. Iruka was breathing shallowly, his lips just slightly parted. Sakura hadn’t put up his hair; Iruka’s hitai-ate sat lonely and wounded on the metal tray by the wall. The off-white hospital garments hung loose on him, being intended for much bigger and brawnier injured shinobi. Sakura had kept the bedsheets bunched down at Iruka’s waist to have better access to his barely-clad bruised chest.

Kakashi stood over him for a long time. 

He had missed Iruka, he realized that now.

They had spent so much time together when he was Rokudaime… but he actually hadn’t seen Iruka in weeks. He was beginning to wonder if he had seen many people at all since Naruto’s inauguration. He must have seen people when he got food – but then again – he could remember many meals of old rations and sparse soup and takeout picked up late at night. It had been overwhelming being Hokage; it was not the position that he had ever imagined taking on, let alone holding for so much time. When Naruto was finally ready, Kakashi was more than willing to hand over the reins, the paperwork, the desk, the hat. 

He wasn’t especially thrilled to part with Iruka. 

Kakashi didn’t know what their relationship would be like without his responsibilities as Hokage considering Iruka’s single-minded dedication to assisting him with the role. They no longer had mutual students who needed their guidance. When he returned to the Hatake compound, Kakashi told himself he would contact Iruka in a few days. It was only right to let him have time off from the endless hours of intermittently pointless or horrendous work as the Hokage’s assistant. 

But, staring at him now, Kakashi realized that it had been a full seven weeks since he had last spoken to Iruka. He felt a strange twisting pain in his gut, like a sword was spinning circles through his intestines. He could actually feel the harsh flinch as it crossed his face.

And – then – 

Iruka stirred slightly in the hospital bed. Kakashi was instantly flush with the side of the mattress, craning his head to look down and see his old assistant better. Iruka’s features worried for a moment before he valiantly opened his eyes and looked around the low-lit room. He started scrutinizing the area where he had last seen Naruto and Sakura, but, finding nothing, Iruka rolled his gaze across the room before finally landing on Kakashi standing tight to his right side.

Iruka blinked slowly in one long tedious moment as he focused on Kakashi. 

Kakashi wasn’t sure what he should do or say, so he did nothing and said nothing.

Without saying a word himself, Iruka reached out a shaky hand towards Kakashi.

Such genuine pleasure flew through Kakashi that he barely understood it or himself as he obediently took Iruka’s hand into his. Without his gloves, his scarred skin met Iruka’s calloused palm with immediate and effortless intimacy. He instinctively leaned down, faintly realizing that he was replicating what Naruto had done earlier when the younger man had also witnessed Iruka’s pleading touch. 

Iruka’s warm but muddled brown eyes locked onto his, and Kakashi felt terribly transfixed by his old friend. Kakashi parted his lips behind his mask, preparing himself to speak, when Iruka spoke in a nearly inaudible whisper, “Lay with me.”

Kakashi went perfectly still. He couldn’t draw his eyes away from Iruka’s confusing but fascinating stare, nor could he pull his hand away from the other man. He knew he had heard Iruka correctly, but the request stayed sliding over the surface of his skin and soul, unable and unwilling to be absorbed. 

Kakashi only moved when Iruka’s eyes went strangely soft, creasing in such a way that Iruka’s gaze turned weak and desperate.

Kakashi hadn’t willingly gotten into a hospital bed in months, but he found himself adjusting Iruka very gently with uncertain hands before he slipped into bed beside the other man. The mattress was only twin-sized, barely able to contain the both of them, but Iruka seemed to care very little about keeping proper distance. Kakashi went still once again as Iruka moved back into the space that he’d initially vacated to allow Kakashi to lay down beside him. 

Remaining absolutely silent, Iruka turned to lay on his stomach, bringing his left arm around Kakashi’s waist while he bodily tucked himself into the space between Kakashi’s left arm and torso. His head came to rest on Kakashi’s shoulder, his face towards Kakashi’s neck. Moving somewhat on his side, Iruka pressed firmly along Kakashi’s body while remaining half entangled with the sheets that Kakashi hadn’t dared use to cover himself. 

After a few moments, Iruka’s breathing went from being heightened and irregular to steadying out and finally becoming low and soft against the slope of Kakashi’s bare neck. Iruka’s grip on Kakashi’s waist loosened until his hand was simply resting on Kakashi’s clothed abdomen. Still pressed so firmly against Iruka, Kakashi could register every shift in his friend’s heart rate, breathing, temperature, and sweat as Iruka slipped further and further into a poisoned, chakra-exhausted slumber.

Kakashi suddenly found himself staring wide-eyed and disbelieving at the ceiling of the hospital room. 

It had been only two minutes since Iruka had woken up: somehow in that brief amount of time, Kakashi had held the other man’s hand, agreed to get into bed with him, had Iruka curl up beside him in what could only be described as a desperate act of cuddling before the man had fallen back asleep, seemingly pleased and at peace.

In contrast, Kakashi was contemplating the cruel nature of karma as he bravely tried not to pass out.

He thought that he might deserve this truly unusual torture because he’d killed too many innocent people in his life – but then again maybe it was because he had been a colossal fuck-up on innumerable missions – but perhaps most obviously – this was happening to him because he had not spoken to Iruka for nearly two months after exploiting him at every possible moment as Hokage over the last few years.

Kakashi couldn’t remember the last time someone had deliberately cuddled with him. He had held more than a few bloodied nin in his arms, had men and women alike huff dying breaths against his neck, had them spit up blood and phlegm and fluid on his masked face… but that wasn’t cuddling.

He certainly had never held Iruka like this before. He and Iruka had been physically close in many different ways – but nothing like this –

 _This_ made Kakashi feel like lightning was striking every inch of skin in contact with Iruka.

Kakashi started to lean away, real anxiety rising in his chest. He was abusing their friendship by agreeing to Iruka’s delirious request; he shouldn’t have gotten into the bed beside him. He wasn’t sure how he felt about Iruka – he had too many feelings about Iruka – he rarely let himself even _think_ about his feelings about Iruka – 

He could still see himself hovering over Iruka in their favorite hot spring just a few months ago, both of them nude and sweating. Kakashi remembered the loose grin that covered his bare face as he hopefully drawled down at Iruka, “Maybe you’d want company later tonight, too, sensei…?”

Iruka’s face was already so flushed from the steam that it had been impossible to tell if he blushed at Kakashi’s offer. He had stared at Kakashi with wide eyes before averting his gaze, refusing to respond. Eventually Kakashi had slunk back down into the hot water, drawing his head backwards to consider the star-lit sky, his arms resting along the rocks. After several minutes, Iruka had silently stepped out of the spring, leaving Kakashi alone.

Kakashi turned his head against the stiff hospital pillow. He literally could not face his unconscious friend. He tried very hard never to force Iruka into anything he didn’t want, but it seemed to happen all the time between them. Times he made Iruka stay late or arrive early, cancel classes, scream at him in frustration, ugly cry when Kakashi got injured or went missing. 

Iruka had once even slapped him so suddenly and unexpectedly Kakashi hadn’t even managed to dodge the blow. The scar through his eye had stung so badly all day that Kakashi wondered if Iruka had used chakra to amplify the pain. He’d only said “If I die at this desk, you’ll be relieved, I’m sure” – nothing really offensive – yet it got him hit in the face by one of his closest friends.

Iruka unexpectedly nosed Kakashi’s throat.

Kakashi stiffened all over. With his face away from the other man, he was unable to see Iruka fully, but he could just make out Iruka’s dark hair shifting as he somehow moved even closer. 

Kakashi realized he’d exposed the long slope of his neck when Iruka’s dry lips pressed against his bare skin. 

He had no way of knowing if Iruka was kissing him or merely pushing his face against Kakashi’s neck in the search for comfort. Kakashi violently tried to remind himself that Iruka was very sick, and he didn’t mean it to feel like a kiss. Iruka was in the throes of terrible suffering, the kind that Kakashi was far too familiar with; he couldn’t and didn’t mean anything by his actions.

Kakashi had never possessed the courage or had such interest in anyone to ask them to cuddle him through chakra depletion and poison, but he understood the appeal. He tried to remember that he was doing Iruka a favor – he was _not_ exploiting Iruka! – and forcibly relaxed his body.

As if in response, Iruka sighed against his neck then laid still, breathing hard, the warm puffs of air lighting up Kakashi’s neck like festival fireworks.

Kakashi filled his head with a repeating mantra of _Iruka is sick, he doesn’t mean to be so intimate, Iruka is sick, he doesn’t mean to be so intimate, Iruka is sick, he doesn’t mean_ –

He internally screamed the lines a few hundred times before Iruka suddenly started shaking. 

Kakashi jerked his head back over to examine the other man, and his right hand instantly went to Iruka’s head still so close to his own neck. Iruka was burning up; his trembling became increasingly erratic as the seconds struggled onwards. He was shaking all over, causing his muscular form to shove further into Kakashi’s leaner frame. Kakashi’s hand stayed firmly settled on Iruka’s forehead. He could feel Iruka’s skin rapidly producing sweat to cool off. 

The last of the poison dragging itself out of Iruka’s system…

Kakashi brushed his hand lightly over Iruka’s loose hair before he neatly gathered all of it and pulled it away from Iruka’s face and neck. He willed himself to be gentle and steady. The cool hospital air would be good for Iruka’s fever. In any case, Kakashi had held Iruka’s hair like this a few times before: each time had been when Iruka had gotten drunk, pulled off his hairtie, kept drinking, and then gotten so sick that he’d started throwing up. 

The first time it happened Kakashi had been very drunk, too, but he had still rushed ungracefully after Iruka, wanting to help him. It was so strange to see his friend face-first into a small trashcan. When Iruka had heaved a second time with Kakashi watching, it had been obvious that Iruka’s hair was getting in the way but Iruka was clutching the metal far too shakily to keep his hair out of his face. So Kakashi kneeled beside him and pulled Iruka’s hair into a loosely held grip with his left hand, timidly using his other hand to stroke Iruka’s upper back in confused circles.

In the hospital, Kakashi did not experience any uncertainty, only profound worry. He’d gone through all sorts of poison, and a few of them had done similar things to him, but he had been very alone through each bout of resistance and relief. At the time, Kakashi would have sworn he _wanted_ to be alone, but looking down at Iruka, he wondered if it would have been nice to have someone with him… someone that cared about him.

Iruka’s shaking continued for some time, and Kakashi’s arm got tired after a while, but he never dropped his hand or let loose his grip. He resolved himself to be there for Iruka, no matter what the man felt for him when at full health: tonight Iruka had asked him to lay beside him, and this time he would be there for his friend.

This definitely _was_ karma; he deserved what he got for being so unkind to Iruka, using him for years and then forgetting him for two months.

Iruka eventually stopped full-body shuddering, giving way to only slight trembling. Kakashi released Iruka’s hair with faint regret: he distantly wondered if he would ever be able to hold it again. He unthinkingly petted Iruka’s hair back into place, tucking a few stray strands behind Iruka’s exposed ear. 

At the gentle touch, Iruka gave an unsteady exhale and clutched at Kakashi’s thin sleeping shirt, digging down through the cloth into Kakashi’s chest.

The feel of Iruka’s fingernails making sharp crescents into his skin…

Kakashi’s eyes involuntarily fluttered shut.

He didn’t have enough time to consider his body’s thrilled reaction because Sakura suddenly strode into the hospital room and shuddered to a full stop, staring at Kakashi and Iruka with comically large eyes and a wide-open mouth. 

Kakashi only knew her expression because he had instantly opened his eyes at the door’s opening and was rapidly trying desperately to project a don’t-kill-me-I-am-NOT-a-pervert declaration with his two very dumb eyes, the lower portion of his face still masked.

Sakura gestured wildly but soundlessly between the two of them, glaring at Kakashi with the obvious unspoken question of ‘What the fuck are you doing?!’

With his mask in place, Kakashi couldn’t get Sakura to lip-read his explanation. He found himself pointing at Iruka with his free hand, putting the blame entirely on his sick friend. He resolutely ignored that he had enjoyed various parts of the cuddling – the last part far, far too much – and aimed to look at pitiful and uncomfortable as possible.

Sakura bought enough of it that she didn’t immediately toss him out the window. She did come around to where she and Naruto had treated Iruka hours earlier and eased Iruka away from clinging to Kakashi. 

It felt like such a genuine loss that Kakashi very nearly went to grab Iruka back.

Startled by his ridiculous reaction, he slipped out of bed and slouched off to the side, trying to look sheepish. At that point, Sakura finally did give him the ‘Get the fuck out of here, sensei’ jerk of the thumb, and Kakashi slunk out the door, feeling very much like his tail was tucked between his legs. He struggled to find a place to wait within the hospital and instead teleported to the roof, deciding to rest above Iruka’s room. 

Sitting on the hospital rooftop, Kakashi brought his fingers to touch where Iruka had seemingly kissed his neck. He had wanted something similar for so long… it felt strange now that it had finally happened. He winced: Iruka was out of his mind, working to overcome poison. He wasn’t – he didn’t really want –

Sakura appeared behind him, and Kakashi dropped his fingers as casually as he could. He partially turned, providing her his trademark eye-smile but found he was unable to force a sincere smile on his actual lips under the mask. He stood after a moment, shoving his hands deep in the pockets of his sleep pants. Giving a guilty shrug, Kakashi declared in an awkward voice, “He asked me to, I swear.” 

Sakura was glaring at him with such a critical, piercing gaze that Kakashi worked hard not to wilt right away. He instead maintained his indifferent slouch and returned her stare, acting unperturbed by her intensity. 

Eventually his former student crossed her arms over her chest and asserted in a tone of serious authority, “You better not be cruel to him, Kakashi-sensei.”

Kakashi flinched, his shoulders instinctively bunching in defense. “Maa, what makes you say that?” he replied, surprised to hear actual hurt in his voice.

Sakura’s pink eyebrows narrowed, and she frowned more deeply at him. “Iruka may be hot and cold on a lot of things,” she warned, eying him disparagingly, “but he’s also very sensitive.”

Kakashi opened his eyes a bit more to study Sakura. He responded more flatly, darker, “I know.”

Sakura sharply turned her head to the side, arms still crossed over her chest. She didn’t say anything further. Faced only with tense silence, Kakashi felt restless aggravation creeping over him. He gave a dismissive wave at his former student and completed a Body Flicker jutsu to return to Iruka’s room just below them.

The hospital room’s lights were dimmed, a clear change from their earlier brightness. They also didn’t automatically switch on at the sudden motion of his entrance. Kakashi’s eyes immediately locked on Iruka’s new position, finding him curled into a ball on top of the white bedsheets. Kakashi was next to the bed a second later, his hand pushing back the hair crowding Iruka’s face, keeping it out of his nose and mouth. He didn’t mean to do so, but his fingers lingered on Iruka’s cheek, gently tracing the very end of his facial scar.

Iruka stirred. 

Kakashi froze in place, still touching the edge of Iruka’s scar.

After wrestling his right arm from under himself, Iruka blindly reached back over his shoulder towards Kakashi, his fingers vainly stretching outwards.

Acting on instinct, Kakashi grabbed Iruka’s searching hand. Kakashi’s cheeks filled with unexpected heat as Iruka clearly but weakly pulled on him, directing him down towards the bed. He almost went to say something but realized he had no idea what he would say – or if Iruka could understand anything in his current condition.

Kakashi started to move around the bed – but found Iruka would not let him go. 

He realized he would have to get in the bed _behind_ his delirious friend. Kakashi rolled his eyes to the ceiling, questioning if there were any gods or a God, and if karma was something he should have feared much more significantly up to this point, but he slipped in behind Iruka without other protest.

With more strength than Kakashi imagined he had, Iruka enclosed his fingers around Kakashi’s left wrist, tugging his hand and willing Kakashi’s body closer. After succeeding, Iruka entangled their fingers together and situated Kakashi’s hand flat on his stomach, refusing to let him loose.

Suddenly Kakashi found _himself_ breathing against Iruka’s neck. He was no longer wide-eyed staring at the ceiling but now at the back of Iruka’s head. He tried not to be panicked at the bewildering turn of events, but he abruptly realized that _he_ was now trembling. 

Kakashi forced his eyes to close. He could feel his heart beating too hard, too fast, in his chest. It felt all too familiar – like how he felt sometimes in battle – but he was with his friend, his sick friend, not confronting an enemy nin out in the field. 

Iruka had fallen asleep, he could tell that now. Kakashi stayed awake. He wasn’t sure he would ever sleep again, actually, not since he had Iruka in his arms, or rather his one-armed embrace. He could smell Iruka’s mint shampoo through all the thick horror of whatever mission he’d been on, the one that left him bloody and dirt-covered. His masked nose and lips pressed into Iruka’s hair…

Hours passed.

The dawn swung into daylight.

Kakashi didn’t sleep. Iruka did. Their hands stayed together.

… and then Kakashi’s eyes flashed open. His arms were confusingly empty – 

He found Iruka sitting on the edge of the bed in quiet discussion with Sakura. Neither were paying Kakashi any attention at all. Kakashi felt incredibly stupid as he slowly sat up, scrunching himself into a small space while still sitting on the hospital bed. He glanced between the two, wondering when he had fallen asleep, when Iruka had woken up, when Sakura had come back to check in…

Iruka turned slightly to meet Kakashi’s astonished gaze. “We’re going back to your place,” Iruka announced easily, as if it were all so simple and understandable, when it was anything but. Although Kakashi didn’t respond in any discernable way, Iruka stood and turned to Sakura, bowing low towards to her. “Thank you again, Sakura. Kakashi will take it from here.”

Without any further comment, Iruka gracefully passed his student, walking out of the room as if it took no effort on his part to stand, let alone walk.

When Sakura’s questioning and truly dangerous attention fixed on him, Kakashi turned suddenly away, slinking down off the bed, and strode across the room like his very life depended on his swift speed. He avoided the unbelievably penetrating stare of his former student and slipped out of the room, intent on finding Iruka before his friend left the hospital.

He was utterly surprised to find Iruka standing right outside the room, leaning against the wall.

Iruka had his eyes feverishly closed, the back of his hand pressed against his forehead. He was breathing heavily, chest rising and falling like it had been on the roof of the Hatake compound. He had slid slightly down the wall, his legs bent at the knees. 

As Kakashi drew closer to him, Iruka just barely opened one eye, his hand and arm covering most of his face. After a moment’s pause, Iruka asked him softly, “Can you get us home?”

“You aren’t feeling better,” Kakashi accused, and he was so surprised and irritated by Iruka’s ill health that he nearly dropped out of his artificial relaxed slouch.

Although Iruka looked like he was struggling to simply exist, Iruka’s single-eyed gaze didn’t waver from Kakashi. “Can you?” he repeated more insistently, but he was nearly inaudible the second time.

Kakashi stared for a few seconds, but he could hear Sakura moving towards them, and he made his decision. He reached for Iruka and was barely able to recognize the flutter in his chest when Iruka pushed off the wall and extended his hand towards him. He knew it was something significant, because the wild-bird feeling worsened as he wrapped his arms around Iruka, and Iruka buried his face in Kakashi’s sleep shirt. He completed the hand gestures behind Iruka’s back to implement a truly exquisite Body Flicker jutsu meant for two.

They were standing in the living room of the Hatake compound moments later. 

Iruka slumped against Kakashi, losing the strength he’d gathered to convince Sakura he was able to leave the hospital. He soon went completely limp, and Kakashi barely managed to keep him upright, finally choosing to navigate him over to the futon. Kakashi tried to focus on being gentle with his friend and not delight in the feel of Iruka flush against him, draped in his arms. He adjusted Iruka downwards on the futon, moved Iruka’s legs in front of him, and started to reposition Iruka’s arms when –

Iruka’s eyes just so slightly opened. He was breathing hard as he caught Kakashi’s concerned gaze. “Stay with me,” he whispered. Kakashi realized that Iruka’s fingers had just barely snagged the end of his sleep shirt. 

Kakashi couldn’t muster any verbal response, so he nodded and sat down beside the futon. After he did, Iruka almost instantaneously closed his eyes and passed out, this time not into sleep but into sick, shallow unconsciousness. Kakashi could spot the difference, and it was distressing to see his friend in such a state – in Kakashi’s house of all places. He kept his hand on Iruka’s arm, where it had been when Iruka asked him to stay, and he watched Iruka’s face slowly settle into delirious calm from his previously contorted expression.

He could better determine time in his own house, tracking how the sunlight shifted in through the windows and crossed over the wooden living room floor. 

It was only a little over an hour later when Iruka tossed his head to the side, wincing terribly, and announced, his eyes closed painfully tight, “Bath – I need a bath.”

Kakashi got Iruka on his feet with a few clumsy shifts and pulls, and he forced Iruka’s arm over his back and shoulder, dragging him forward towards the closest bathroom. Iruka’s brown hair hung over his face, and Kakashi wasn’t sure how conscious he really was, but he obeyed the request, bringing his friend into the bathroom. Iruka pushed off of him in a small but definite statement of ‘leave me alone a moment’ which Kakashi reluctantly permitted, stepping outside the space. He made sure to listen for Iruka falling, but the other man only used the toilet and then, much to Kakashi’s surprise, started to fill the tub with water.

After several minutes, Kakashi peeked inside and witnessed an achingly familiar sight: Iruka, nude, up to his chest in hot water. His long brown hair was already wet, clinging to his face. His eyes were loosely closed, and his left arm was resting along the rim of the bathtub. With the water being so perfectly clear, Kakashi actually had to look away not to see his friend entirely bare to the world. There was no avoiding the grotesque visual of the black bruises covering Iruka’s shoulders, chest, and abdomen; as Kakashi neared him, he could recognize the cause of the bruises – fists, the fists of enemy nin, striking Iruka over and over. 

Iruka didn’t even glance at Kakashi as he lightly scolded him, “Stop with the killing intent.”

Kakashi blinked, suddenly realizing he _had_ been exuding homicidal want. He contained it all in an instant, shame following in its wake. Ignoring his ridiculous and obviously unnecessary protective instinct, Kakashi lowered himself against the opposite wall, his long legs stretching out in front of him. He watched Iruka further relax his beaten shoulders. Kakashi uneasily looked over Iruka’s hand out of the water, the one resting on rim of the bathtub. 

He wanted to hold Iruka’s hand again.

As if Iruka could hear his thoughts, Iruka shakily lifted his fingers towards Kakashi, an unspoken invitation to resume contact. Swallowing tension, Kakashi gingerly met Iruka’s hand, sliding atop it, feeling the smooth skin there. He consciously brushed his thumb over Iruka’s wrist, hoping that he was in any way a comfort to his friend.

“Do you know Takanori and Eita?” Iruka asked unexpectedly. His eyes remained closed.

Kakashi knew both of them, of course. He knew everyone in Konoha from his time as Hokage, from the newborn infants to those dying of old age. While he vaguely knew Eita to be a skilled jounin with exceptional tracking abilities, Takanori was much more familiar to Kakashi, being one of the ANBU that had been with him as Hokage since the very start. The man took second shift, which started at midday and ended in the late afternoon: he was often the one in Kakashi’s office, standing invisibly in the shadows, prepared to defend Kakashi against assassination.

And Takanori _had_ defended Kakashi on more than one occasion. He had once even protected Iruka when a missing nin assassin exploded into existence in the Hokage’s office. Flames had filled the space so quickly that Kakashi hadn’t gotten the chance to throw Iruka out of the building. Instead, much to his relief, Takanori had shielded Iruka with his body, creating an immense iceblock to cover them both, all while Kakashi and the other ANBU escaped the blistering fire and tore the assassin to fine bloody shreds.

After the fight was over, Kakashi had checked on Iruka: his friend and assistant lingered over Takanori, making sure the man’s ANBU porcelain mask was in place, wringing the cold water out of Takanori’s uniform, smoothing down burnt segments of scorched cloth. When he realized Kakashi was nearby, Iruka had looked up at him so worriedly that Kakashi had wanted to embrace him, but he only stepped by him and confirmed Takanori had indeed survived the attack. 

He didn’t even think to complain that his ANBU had decided to protect his assistant and not him.

“Yeah,” Kakashi answered simply.

“They’re both dead.”

A sorrowful numbness smothered Kakashi. He didn’t move. His heart beat fast for only a second before returning to its normal state of deadened calm. He said nothing in response, and Iruka didn’t push him for a reaction. Instead he continued speaking, as if he never imagined Kakashi would answer him in the first place.

“They went with me to see if a girl in a nearby village had enough potential to be enrolled in the Academy,” Iruka explained, his eyes still closed. Under his hand, Kakashi could feel Iruka’s grip tightening. “She did… such a sweet girl. She couldn’t stop talking about the skill it took to make Takanori’s mask. She put her hands all over him. Takanori let her... I think he might have been blushing.”

Iruka stopped talking for a while, and Kakashi felt himself wince. The childish wonder that was so totally destroyed in him by age six – for it to be still alive in this girl, that she wouldn’t fear an ANBU but seek him out and compliment the painted lines on his porcelain face – 

“We were bringing her back to Konoha when the missing nin attacked.”

Kakashi’s eyes sought out Iruka’s, but his friend refused to open his eyes. Instead, Iruka was suddenly relentless in his explanation of what had happened to him. He was certainly not supposed to be telling another soul about his mission except the actual reigning Hokage, not the retired one, not soaking in a bathtub, not nude, not with the old Hokage holding his hand.

“They killed the girl. She was the first one they killed.”

Kakashi expected Iruka to pause to mourn her, to hear Iruka’s voice crack, to see his expression waver and shake, but Iruka was ceaseless, his face neutral, his tone flat. 

“Then Eita. They tore his throat open. But he delayed them with a self-destruct jutsu.”

Much to his surprise, Kakashi himself had to restrain a wince. Eita was a good man: Kakashi could picture him in his mind’s eye. Black hair hung over the right side of Eita’s face, and he grinned a little too much, but his teeth were bright, and his smile mischievous and wide. It was sadly too easy to imagine Eita had prepared for his death, ready with the sort of jutsu that would tear nin to pieces while he grinned broadly, blood slick in his hair and liquid scarlet staining his teeth.

“They tried to use a poison jutsu to slow us down, but we got away. They followed us. I wanted to stay and fight with Takanori, but he pushed me away and told me the Hokage needs me.”

Kakashi straightened at the ANBU’s comment. He had expected Takanori to be blunt and state the obvious – that Iruka wasn’t strong enough to confront any missing nin that could kill Eita. 

But ‘the Hokage needs you’ was a strange remark to make. Naruto was older now; he was no longer the child that had struggled through the Academy, fighting to make friends, unable to create a clone. Naruto surely still loved Iruka: Kakashi had seen that clearly yesterday when Naruto practically wrenched Iruka’s unconscious body into a hard embrace. Nevertheless, Naruto would survive Iruka’s death, even if it seared a long, deep scar on his soul.

Iruka started speaking again, but his voice was lower, softer. “I told him Naruto would be fine if I died. I didn’t mean right away… but I know Naruto. He’s strong enough to endure any loss.”

Kakashi watched as Iruka’s lips slid down into frown. He was nearly inaudible when he finally spoke, “Takanori said he didn’t mean Naruto; he meant the old Hokage, the Rokudaime.”

Iruka paused and then said –

“He meant you.”

While most of Kakashi froze, his hand started shaking over Iruka’s out of his control.

Eyes still closed, Iruka continued, his soft voice unchanged: “I said you didn’t need me, that I wouldn’t let him die alone away from Konoha.” Iruka’s right hand rose out of the water, and he brushed over the darkest bruise on his chest under his left collarbone. “Takanori said, ‘I swear Kakashi-sama needs you,’ before he punched me out of the tree we were on and ran back towards the missing nin.” Iruka paused to swallow evident shame, guilt suddenly saturating his features. “I know he’s dead. He’s not back in Konoha. All because he believed…”

Kakashi distantly understood he had stopped breathing; he wouldn’t have been surprised if his heart had gone still, too. He was wide-eyed staring at Iruka as his friend trailed off, unable to finish his pained final thought. Kakashi desperately tried to understand Takanori’s fervent belief that he needed Iruka – and he wondered what his ANBU had seen – and he considered all the years that Takanori had watched the two of them together – and he felt faint at the thought Takanori recognized something that he was too stupid and busy and ruined to put a name to –

He suddenly realized that Iruka was staring at him. Iruka’s eyes were dark brown, dilated beyond belief, filled to the brim with curiosity and grief.

“Is it true?” he asked, his voice strangled. “Do you need me?”

Kakashi felt his heart drop out of his body. It seemed like Iruka was staring right through him.

He barely understood what he was doing as he whispered, “Yes.”

The edges of Iruka’s eyes creased, and his frown wavered on his face; he looked both terribly relieved but also on the verge of breaking into tears. He finally closed his eyes and pulled his hand from under Kakashi’s, drawing up both hands to cover his face. He turned his head away from Kakashi and muttered brokenly into his palms, “Could you leave me alone for a while?”

A second later, Kakashi was standing shakily in the living room, feeling so staggered it was as if all his bones had suddenly started to dissolve into ash. He grabbed the doorframe with one hand; he felt strangely nauseous. He could taste bile on his tongue. He wasn’t sure what to do. He couldn’t leave Iruka alone too long – the man was definitely chakra-depleted and weak from poison – but he had to do the right thing and leave him alone, at least for a few minutes.

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, but the entire time Kakashi stayed in place, staring at nothing at all. 

At some point, Kakashi turned around and went back into the bathroom. Iruka seemed to be memorizing his hands as they rested just above the cooling water of the bathtub. He didn’t look up when Kakashi entered the room, and he didn’t resist when Kakashi pulled gently at his arm, helping him stand and getting him out of the bath. Iruka did weakly push Kakashi’s hand away as he started to dry Iruka’s body, taking over the task and completing it with pained slowness. 

Kakashi offered him an old worn-down robe – his favorite – and Iruka slipped it on, tying the front shut with clumsy hands. He started to bring Iruka back out to the futon when Iruka suddenly stopped, forcing Kakashi to swing back around and catch Iruka under his arms. 

Abruptly face to face with Iruka, Kakashi felt flushed and weak. 

In contrast, Iruka looked so determined that it was hard to remember that he was actually very sick, devoid of chakra, with poison sweating out of his skin. 

“We’re sleeping in your bed,” Iruka insisted sharply.

Kakashi could only nod. He redirected them towards his bedroom across the Hatake compound. His mind had gone peculiarly blank: he was so present that he had no past or future, only the feel of Iruka’s body against his, only his confused heart protesting feebly against his ribcage.

Iruka removed himself from Kakashi when they neared his bed. He carefully lowered himself onto the mattress, pushing aside the sheets, and curled up, pulling one of the pillows into his chest. Kakashi watched in mild horror: he wasn’t sure what he should do, what Iruka wanted him to do. He imagined he could have been murdered by a doe-eyed pre-genin he was so lost.

“Kakashi, lay down,” Iruka demanded, half of his face in the pillow.

Kakashi obeyed immediately, somewhat confused that he was already dressed to sleep but realizing that it was his clothing from the night before when he had first found Iruka on his roof. He laid beside Iruka, feeling utterly dazed and detached from the other man, uncertain if he should hold him or touch him or just leave him be. 

After some time, Iruka flipped over and looked Kakashi directly in the face. 

“Please, go to sleep,” Iruka whispered, his brown eyes weak. 

Again, Kakashi could only nod, and he closed his eyes, willing his body to shut down. He had enough practice from S-ranked missions and his time as ANBU that it was possible to force himself to sleep – even if he hadn’t done it in some time. He wasn’t convinced that Iruka knew he could make himself sleep, but he didn’t want to ask what Iruka thought about him, not now.

It was dark outside when he awoke. Kakashi realized suddenly what had caused him to wake up.

Iruka was straddling his waist, slowly drawing a finger down the long scar on Kakashi’s face, the one through his eye. Iruka’s own brown-hued face was shadowed, the scar bisecting his features looking unusually deep. He was covered in a fine sheen of sweat; the old blue robe was open, revealing all of his muscled body to Kakashi’s view. He glanced up to meet Kakashi’s stunned eyes – and amazingly said nothing.

Kakashi’s mouth was so dry that he could only think he’d swallowed sand overnight.

His right hand moved of its own volition, rising to meet Iruka’s leg, sliding up the muscular length of Iruka’s bare thigh. Kakashi’s other hand reached up to catch Iruka’s wrist hovering over his face, and he pulled Iruka downwards as carefully as he could. 

Iruka went with the motion, his eyes closing just slightly as he moved closer to Kakashi. 

Kakashi wanted to kiss him, but he changed his mind at the last second, running his fingers into Iruka’s long hair, pressing the man’s cheek against his. He realized he was breathing heavily when his chest started to press against Iruka’s at an irregular rhythm. He had squeezed his eyes shut without realizing it; he was suddenly clutching Iruka hard underneath the robe, his fingers tearing down into Iruka’s old twisted back scar. Kakashi knew he was shaking wildly, but he couldn’t stop himself, and he started to realize that he might be hyperventilating.

Iruka’s voice was in his ear, soft and sweet, a serene still comfort, “It’s okay. I’m here.”

Kakashi made a sound he recognized as a half-repressed sob, and he shoved his face into Iruka’s neck, gritting his teeth so hard that he worried they might break.

He stayed there for some indeterminate time, before he finally pulled back, trying to see Iruka’s expression. As he moved, Iruka’s hand cupped the side of his face. Kakashi saw that the other man was still sick and sweating, but he was also looking down at Kakashi, his face full of dark fondness.

Kakashi wanted to say something, but he didn’t know how to explain a single thing. Instead, his eyes dropped down to Iruka’s lips, wondering if he had any courage left in him to kiss the man. 

Apparently Iruka did, because he took the hint, tore down Kakashi’s mask, and kissed him so stirringly hard that Kakashi felt crushed against the mattress, his hands instinctively grabbing Iruka to stabilize himself. 

The kiss deepened infinitely when Iruka licked at Kakashi’s bottom lip, and Kakashi opened his mouth, and then their tongues met, wet and desperate. Kakashi forcefully petted Iruka’s naked body, relishing the sickly sweat covering his skin, while Iruka gripped the sheets on either side of Kakashi’s head and the edges of his silver hair. Their kiss went on endlessly, so long that Kakashi worried they both would die, but Iruka must have had a similar concern, because he pulled away just slightly to breathe and then pressed his mouth against Kakashi’s ear. 

“I want you,” he said in a voice so dark and impatient that Kakashi couldn’t help but groan.

“You’re not –” Kakashi started to protest, knowing that Iruka was definitely not well yet, not at all, even as Kakashi’s body was screaming at him to shut up.

Iruka’s tongue suddenly licked the curve of his ear, and Kakashi shuddered against him, drawing his hands to Iruka’s hips and yanking him downwards. Their erections met for the first time, causing Kakashi to arch and stifle a moan. Iruka breathed hard in his ear before he bit down just slightly on Kakashi’s earlobe. As he did so, his right hand wandered further down, finding Kakashi’s clothed cock, spreading his fingers over the hard length and stroking him slowly.

“I want to fuck you,” Iruka corrected breathily.

Kakashi’s cock jumped in Iruka’s hand, and he threw his head to the side, unable to handle Iruka’s comment, unintentionally giving Iruka more access to lick and bite at his neck. He found himself nodding unsteadily as he pulled down harder on Iruka’s hips, pressing them together even more. He couldn’t process the delicious friction of their bodies or the way that Iruka already seemed to know too much about his cock, what he wanted, what he liked. 

Iruka managed to pull down Kakashi’s pants just enough that Kakashi kicked them the rest of the way off, and Iruka was about to lick his own fingers in preparation when he suddenly caught Kakashi watching him. 

Iruka’s subsequent smile was the thing of lewd fantasy: he was wicked and unrestrained as he pressed his fingers against Kakashi’s lips and whispered, “Lick them.”

Heart beating out of his chest, Kakashi parted his lips, and Iruka slipped the tips of his fingers inside Kakashi’s mouth, finding his waiting tongue. Kakashi wetly stroked Iruka’s fingers, their eyes locked on each other. Kakashi could tell he was badly flushed; he was so hard that it was nearly painful. But seeing Iruka’s scarred cheeks redden was worth everything in the world, and he was lapping like a dog all too quickly, submissively thrilled that any part of Iruka was in his mouth, hard against his tongue.

Iruka breathed out weakly, withdrawing his hand. His eyes fluttered a moment before he reached between Kakashi’s legs, finding what he wanted almost immediately. Kakashi’s hands redirected to Iruka’s shoulders, his legs spreading on instinct. He knew he should feel embarrassed, but all he experienced was pure throbbing want, and he was holding back a moan before he knew it, throwing back his head on the pillow while Iruka gazed down at him, glorying in watching him.

Before they went too much further, though, Kakashi was desperate not to destroy whatever they were creating between themselves, and he found himself turning to the side, grabbing at the nightstand. He yanked open the drawer just enough that Iruka realized what he was aiming for. Iruka pulled out the lubricant that Kakashi used on himself on rare occasions, silently stroking his own hard cock before he pushed his newly wet fingers back into Kakashi.

The sensation was better, finer with the right lubricant, and Kakashi felt his cock twitch in Iruka’s busy other hand. His fingers shook on Iruka’s shoulders, and Iruka sighed, long and hard, obviously perfectly pleased with Kakashi’s reaction.

He positioned himself easily enough between Kakashi’s legs, but he stopped to stare at Kakashi, his brown eyes obviously questioning. 

Kakashi wasn’t sure exactly why he said it, but he heard himself saying aloud, “I should have told you sooner.”

Iruka almost seemed to smile as he confessed in turn, “I’ve been in love with you for years,” and then, without warning, thrust deeply into Kakashi, inspiring a dark moan to tear from Kakashi’s throat as unexpected pain and pleasure collided and twisted and peaked inside him.

He was so very unprepared for Iruka to fuck him – now or ever. In some ways, Kakashi knew Iruka all too well: the man was expectantly very interested in Kakashi’s pleasure, his right hand never leaving Kakashi’s aching cock, his eyes staying open to watch Kakashi in the throes of passion. 

But Kakashi would have never suspected that Iruka would or _could_ fuck him this _hard_. He had known the size of Iruka’s cock from perversely observing him in the hot spring, but he had never seen Iruka aroused before. He was much larger than Kakashi had guessed, and being fucked with all of Iruka’s cock felt _unbelievably_ good and filling and dizzying. 

He felt exposed as he started gasping at Iruka’s every rough thrust into his body, but Iruka’s face swam with pleasure, and his hand moved quicker, harder, on Kakashi’s cock, so he didn’t feel so terribly embarrassed, only further flushed and more wanting. 

He could feel white-hot pleasure building in him. Kakashi started to warn Iruka when Iruka suddenly hissed above him, pushing into him all the way once again, “Kakashi, you have _never_ looked this good – I should have fucked you years ago.”

Kakashi slapped his own hand over Iruka’s holding his cock and tightened their dual grip, stroking himself with near violence, before he came obscenely hard.

He couldn’t stop himself from closing his eyes, the pleasure was too much, but Kakashi could hear Iruka panting above him, muttering through a string of heated obscenities, before he could actually feel Iruka bury himself deep within him. Iruka’s hands clutched at Kakashi’s sweat-slick hips as he finally and wondrously came. He evidently bowed over Kakashi, the very tips of hair were suddenly tickling Kakashi’s sensitive abdomen, his shirt shoved so high up on his chest. 

Kakashi only realized he was smiling in true, pure contentment when Iruka laughed quietly while detangling himself from him. “You look happy,” Iruka noted softly, his voice exhausted. Kakashi flicked open his eyes and relished the sight above him – his friend, former assistant, lover smiling down at him as Iruka brushed his loose dark hair behind his ears. “It’s really nice seeing you so happy.”

Kakashi pulled him down into a kiss, and Iruka sighed into his mouth, so obviously tired and relieved, still in the slight trembling sensitivity of sex. Kakashi made sure to clean them both, particularly as Iruka turned to lay on his back. Iruka’s eyes fully closed; his torn-up body was clearly quite upset with the sudden and unexpected activity. 

As Kakashi returned to the bed, Iruka slid open his eyes and looked at Kakashi more seriously. His mouth worked worriedly for a moment before Iruka finally spoke, sounding like he could use all the comfort in the world, “Please never leave me again.”

Kakashi stiffened, staring at him.

He hadn’t really considered it, but that _was_ what he had done. Kakashi had been beside the man day in and day out for years and years… and then, stepping down from Hokage, he had simply abandoned Iruka, retreating out in the woods, moping along his family’s old homestead like a ghostly shadow. 

Kakashi shook himself out of the image and looked contritely at Iruka, moving forward to kneel on the bed and hover over the other man, “I shouldn’t have left you two months ago.”

Iruka looked up at Kakashi, searching his expression. He must have found what he wanted because he nodded in agreement, giving him a soft smile in return. “No, you shouldn’t have.”

Kakashi found himself falling into those brown eyes that he’d sought out so many times over the last few years. He made the promise before he realized its full meaning: “I will make it up to you the rest of my life.”

Iruka blinked at his heartfelt declaration, a blush filling his scarred cheeks. “Oh,” he replied so very articulately that Kakashi found himself smiling fondly down at him. 

Still dazed that he could do so, Kakashi pressed a kiss against Iruka’s cheek, nuzzling the sweaty skin of the man’s neck. Running a gentle hand over Iruka’s darkly bruised chest, he whispered, “I promise we’ll be together the rest of our lives.”

Iruka made a sound that was a mixture of crying and laughing, and he closed his arms around Kakashi, pulling him into an impressively strong embrace for someone chakra-depleted. 

It was a strange promise to make, and they both knew it. Each would certainly have to go outside the village on missions. There would always be assassination attempts and invasions of Konoha to fight off. Even without the Sharingan, Kakashi was a rare talent to be utilized and exploited. And, even though he was a chuunin and school teacher, Iruka would experience his fair share of dangerous missions, especially if this latest one was any indicator of future events. 

But it was a good promise to make, one that meant more in its sincerity than its truth.

Kakashi was relieved to finally promise himself to Iruka. 

As he watched Iruka slip into much needed sleep in his bed – now their bed – Kakashi moved to lay behind him and brought their bodies close together, finally getting to enjoy the act of cuddling with his life partner after so many years of being alone.


End file.
